He gave me a death stare.
I tried not to look at that hateful gaze, but it seems like he was already angry. I don’t know what happened, but since last night, he’s been angry whenever I’m around. It’s a hatred I don’t understand, as if he wishes I wasn’t born in this world. And I keep wondering what my mistake was that made him look at me so badly.
“Back off!” he pushed me abruptly and bumped my shoulder. I guess his mood isn’t good this morning. Does it have anything to do with me? It’s enough for me if he just ignores me at school or anywhere else, but no, he’s not satisfied until I’m completely destroyed. He always tries to hide me as if I’m a bacterium that needs to be eradicated.
Mother looked at the two of us suspiciously from the kitchen. And you know what disgusts me the most? It’s when he puts on his acting skills. He acts like a sweet son in front of my mother. And don’t ask about my father because I never know his whereabouts, sometimes he’s there and sometimes he disappears without a trace.
“Don’t make me do something bad to you. Smile!” he said with pressure and a sharp gaze before we sat at the dining table.
He’s my older brother, or more precisely, my twin brother with just a 30-minute age difference. A baseball captain loved by all the women and respected by the teachers. They all admire the handsomeness and toughness of Benjamin Aldrich Sirrien. Benjamin’s words are like commands; no teacher or student in my school would question him.
Benjamin turned his eyes back towards me as if I were trash unworthy of being by his side. I am his sibling, but he treats me as if I’m unlucky to be born. His treatment is as if I’m not born from the same blood. However, that attitude would change when he’s faced with his female friends or male companions, as he would display a demeanor full of authority and kindness.
It’s really sad when you think about it, but yes, he despises me to the core.
“Sorry.” I even apologize for something I don’t understand my mistake in. I always apologize because I’m too lazy to argue in this already chaotic house. I apologize first because I don’t want my mother to worry about our mischief.
This has been going on for a long time, perhaps since we started school. I always apologize for things I didn’t do. The pressure he puts on me breaks my mentality. Although I often cry because of his treatment, my parents always seem to defend him. He’s been a skilled manipulator since forever, and I hate him for that.
“Do you like my cooking, dear?” my mother asked with a beaming smile. My mother is the strongest Luna in her pack. If you ask how it feels to be the child of a Luna, my answer would be normal, because my mother and the pack are always busy defending their territory. However, her kindness is unquestionable; she always tries to be fair to us, even though Benjamin remains the center of attention for the whole family.
I smiled at my mother. The wrinkles beneath her eyes indicated that she’s been through enough tough days. So who am I to add to her burden because of Benjamin’s actions?
“The food is delicious, Mom. As usual,” I replied politely.
Mother smiled back and then glanced at Benjamin, who seemed briefly melancholic. “Benji, is there any problem at school?” my mother asked, seemingly having a bad feeling.
“No problem, Mom. I’m fine,” Benji casually replied with a sweet smile that fooled everyone. Except me.
“By the way, Miss Adam mentioned that you’ll be going for an internship, Benji?” my mother asked again. I almost forgot that I also need to think about an internship for the next semester.
“Yeah, Mom. Maybe next week I’ll start it!” Benji replied, causing my eyebrows to furrow. How could that be? It’s supposed to start next semester, right? There’s still eight months left to find one. Shortly after, Benjamin’s hand tightly grabbed mine under the table. I knew what he meant—I had to keep my mouth shut if I didn’t want to be the subject of bullying for the rest of my life.
“Sarah? Have you found one?” my mother confronted Benji’s statement. But I was too afraid to tell the truth. It’s better to play it safe and agree with what Benji said.
“Not yet, Mom. There’s still time until next semester to find one,” I replied. Hopefully, my mother would believe my answer and not ask Miss Chloe, my homeroom teacher, any further.
“Benji… why didn’t you invite Sarah along?”
Oh no! It seems like tonight will be the night of my demise. Luckily, I’ve already chosen a coffin that’s available in our attic. Strange, isn’t it? If it’s not strange, then it’s not my family. Just so you know, my grandmother prepared that white coffin for all the members of this family.
“We’re in different majors, Mom.”
“Oh, right.”
I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. It served a purpose to choose a different major from Benjamin back then. It’s not that I didn’t want to be with him. But his hatred and constant anger over mistakes I don’t understand made me feel the need to keep a safe distance.
“Alright, Sarah. I hope you can find a suitable internship.”
I nodded and smiled. Hopefully, I can find that internship without any obstacles. You know what I’m thinking? I’m afraid Benjamin will plot something again to sabotage me. For now, he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing in the truest sense to me. He always has a reason to make me a convict in front of my parents. But once again, my parents will defend him. The strong man in this family is never wrong.
I’m starting to suspect that we’re not really twins!
After breakfast, we went to school, and Mother entrusted Benjamin with the task of taking care of the house as she would be with the Pack for over a week. I’m used to my mother’s absence at home, but it also means a new hell is about to begin.
“Five minutes late, and you’ll have to walk home!” Benjamin said before parking his car in the parking lot.
I just rolled my eyes, too lazy to look at his face and his arrogance. Not to mention the women who called out to Benjamin flirtatiously. If only they knew who Benjamin really was at home, I’m sure they would all vomit.
I walked past the green field while inhaling the fresh air, which is my favorite thing to do. Gazing at the blue sky through my panoramic prescription glasses makes me feel comfortable. Mornings are the most beautiful time for me, a breath of freedom to relax my mind, as all the pressures seem to disappear when I look at the greenery and bright yellow flowers along this park.
Until…
“Hey, Sarah!”
I know whose voice that is. I should have known and not hoped for much because a new wave of misfortune is about to begin and end when I return home. Truly unlucky I am, one misfortune after another. Why does all of this have to happen to me?
I want to run!
I don’t want to be in this world!